When Grief Goes Unspoken: Confronting Suicide with Compassion

September is Suicide Prevention Month—a time to pay closer attention to the emotional well-being of the people around us and to renew our commitment to creating communities where no one suffers alone.

 

Suicide is not a distant or abstract public-health issue. According to the Maryland Office of the Chief Medical Examiner, 610 deaths in Maryland were classified as suicides in 2024, compared with 592 in 2023. Ninety-six of those who died in 2024 were age 25 or younger. Baltimore City recorded 56 suicide deaths, while Prince George’s County recorded 45.

 

Each number represents a person whose life had meaning—a child, parent, sibling, spouse, partner, friend, coworker, neighbor, or member of a faith community. Each death also leaves behind people whose lives are forever changed.

 

 

When people think about suicide, they may not immediately think about overdose. Yet an overdose can be intentional. Maryland’s medical examiner identified drugs as the cause in 43 suicide deaths during 2024.

 

It is important, however, not to assume that every fatal overdose is a suicide. Overdose deaths may be classified as accidental, intentional, or undetermined depending on the available evidence. Families may never receive complete answers about what their loved one intended in their final moments. That uncertainty can make an already devastating loss even more complicated.

 

Whether an overdose was intentional, accidental, or undetermined, the people left behind deserve compassion and support—not speculation or blame.

 

 

The term “suicide-loss survivor” refers to someone grieving the death of a loved one by suicide. These survivors may experience many of the emotions associated with other deaths, including sadness, longing, anger, confusion, and loneliness. They may also struggle with guilt, unanswered questions, traumatic memories, or the belief that they should have recognized or prevented what happened.

 

Their grief can become disenfranchised grief—grief that is not fully acknowledged, understood, or supported by others.

 

Although our understanding of mental health has grown, suicide and overdose continue to be surrounded by stigma. Survivors may encounter judgments about the morality of the death, the character of the person who died, the strength of the family, or whether the loss should be discussed openly. Some may hear insensitive questions about why their loved one “made that choice.” Others may feel pressure to conceal the cause of death from friends, coworkers, their faith community, or even other family members.

 

These judgments can deepen isolation at the very time survivors most need connection.

 

A person who dies by suicide should not be defined solely by the circumstances of their death. They were a whole person, with relationships, experiences, struggles, gifts, and a story that deserves to be remembered with dignity. Likewise, their family should not be treated as responsible for the death or made to feel ashamed of their grief.

 

Our responsibility is not to sit in judgment. It is to listen, to acknowledge the loss, to offer support, and to make room for difficult questions that may never have complete answers.

 

 

Grief, depression, trauma, and suicidal thoughts do not always announce themselves in obvious ways. A young person who appears angry or withdrawn may be grieving the death of a parent, sibling, friend, or classmate. An adult struggling to meet daily responsibilities may be carrying a recent death, cumulative community trauma, a serious diagnosis, or the loss of a future they once imagined.

 

The beginning of a new school year can be particularly difficult for grieving children and adolescents. Returning to familiar routines may highlight the absence of a parent who once prepared them for school, a sibling who is no longer at the dinner table, or a friend who will not return to the classroom.

 

Changes in behavior, attendance, academic performance, sleep, mood, or social engagement may be expressions of grief or emotional distress. Rather than responding only to the behavior, adults should be willing to ask a more compassionate question: “What might this young person be carrying?”

 

Suicide prevention begins with that kind of attention and connection. We do not need perfect words to let someone know that they matter. We can listen without judgment, take expressions of hopelessness seriously, ask directly whether someone is thinking about suicide, connect the person with professional support, and remain present.

 

 

At Roberta’s House, we recognize that grief affects the whole person. It can influence physical health, emotional well-being, relationships, school performance, employment, and a person’s sense of safety and hope. When grief is ignored or unsupported, isolation can deepen. When people are met with compassion, connection, and appropriate care, healing becomes possible.

 

Through bereavement support, behavioral health services, youth programs, community education, and the HOPELine—Healing, Outreach, Prevention, and Education—we help individuals and families find support before grief and trauma become overwhelming. The HOPELine is more than a telephone number; it is a life line connecting people with compassionate guidance, information, and community resources.

 

Each of us can help strengthen that line of hope. Check on someone who has experienced a loss. Make room for a young person to talk without immediately trying to solve the problem. Avoid language that assigns shame or blame. Speak the name of the person who died. Remember important dates. Continue offering support after the funeral, when calls and visits often become less frequent but grief remains.

 

Most importantly, remind people through both words and actions that seeking help is a sign of strength.

 

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or an immediate emotional crisis, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If there is an immediate danger, call 911. For grief support, behavioral health services, or information about Roberta’s House programs, please contact Roberta’s House.

 

Healing begins when people feel seen, heard, and supported. This September, let us replace judgment with understanding, silence with conversation, and isolation with compassionate connection.

Gregory W. Branch, M.D., MBA, CPE, FACP
Vice President
Roberta’s House